Back Story: Ouchy the clown is a bdsm clown/ escort/ DJ and meeting facilitator based in the bay area.

Mark Davis for Unzipped: When you first started to get into Ouchy, did it ever worry you? I read that the first time that you did it, you were headed out to an SM play party, and had been taking some kind of clown class, and at the last minute decided to paint the face on.
When you realized how much you liked it...
did you ever think that maybe you were going off the deep end, or did
It all feel good immediately.

OUCHYTHE CLOWN: It all felt so good so good so natural, and normal and the normal direction to take things, and especially the more I got into SM, the more I thought wow it's mostly about play and that just made sense to me.

MD4UZ: How does OUCHY get his exercise? Whats the OUCHY work out?
Ouchy: Other than smacking people around which works the upper body and sometimes the thighs, I swim about three times a week with the United States Masters Association,they'll be happy to know that Ouchys plugging them.

MD: No irony there.

OUCHY: Ouchy laughs and Honks clown horn

MD: laughs, All right,
You're a pro DJ in addition to being an SM clown for hire.
Whats the ultimate soundtrack for an Ouchy session., when you combine your two favorite hobbies/ clown sex/ and djing...

OUCHY: Theres always Barry White, you gotta love Barry White for sex, and he's kind of silly though he doesn't mean to be: I enjoy that and I also like as you can tell to put things together, to juxtapose things that don't' go together/maybe Barry White followed by a Marching Band doing "Send in the clowns" Also, some music from Pee Wee's Big Adventure soundtrack, and a compiliation CD, Incredibly strange Music.

MD: When I heard that you were into Tiki Music I had this vision of you doing a cover of the Ann Margaret Cover, 13 men and me the Only CLOWN in town.

OUCHY: I like it!

MD: In your press kit you mention that you are a meeting facilitator,,,, Can you tell us who some of your clients have beeN?

OUCHY: I've only had ONE person call me for that/ It was the Burning Man organization. I fascillitated a town hall meeting or what became a clown hall meeting, when I took over it, a couple years ago.

MD: So no Microsoft or Wells Fargo

OUCHY: Not yet though I did get a call once from Ogilvie and Mather, and they were READY to go and at the last minute they backed out......

MD: .....Some yuppity up probably nixed..

OUCHY: Clowns!.... Your gonna fly a clown in from the west to the east coast??!?!? You got a corporate upset!

MD: You mentioned Burning Man... What sorts of things do you do there what kind of people do you hang out with.

OUCHY: Last year it was interesting I broke off with a crowd I'd been camping with for the last 4 years, which was Motel 666, and we started our own little camp called clown town and there were just 11 clowns and 1 Santa , clowns don't' like Santas by the way and apparently vice versa and that was really good, we had a clown car and we drove around and would occasionally get off the car, and do ridiculous little performance art. At one point 12 of us went to the main café and stuck a finger in each others ass in a big circle, kind of made a little performance out of that.

MD: With the plate spinning music from Ed Sullivan?

OUCHY: Unfortunately not.....

MD: Is this the same gang that you stormed MOCA with? (During a recent Warhol retrospective at LA's Museum of Contemporary Art, Ouchy was among a group of high art types, that simply showed up in their preferred attire in an homage to the real spirit of Warhol. The museum according to the LA times, was somewhat concerned.)

OUCHY: Pretty much, the PCP, Porn Clown Posse/ We have two LA outpostians, two clowns there, and they conjured up a bunch of Hollywoodized clowns to go with us...

MD: Is there a place where you all meet? Is there really a clown bar?

OUCHY: Laughs/ there was on the Playa at Burning Man this year, definatleya a couple clown bars actually.
WE typically meet at one of our houses, either mine or Naughty, (KNOTTY?) the clown, or we often go to the Odeon which is a local bar here which is about as close to a clown bar as we get.

MD: Where in SF is the Odeon? 415-550-6994 642-dive

OUCHY: The Odeon is right near the corner of Mission and Valencia (3223 Mission, at the intersection of Mission and Valencia. www. Odeonbar.com)

MD: Is OUCHY the utlimate body modification?

OUCHY: Laughs, definitely not the ultimate,,,people do all sorts of weird shit....

MD: Do you want to be a more evolved being...

OUCHY: You might say I'm devolving more than evolving...

MD: Sidevolving?

OUCHY: stepping over ,,,,I don't' know if Ouchys going anywhere in particular than where he is right now. I do continue to spawn other clown characters...

MD: Of your own or other people?

OUCHY: Of my own. Though there's the PCP,(Porn clown posse , and there's ten of us now.......

MD: Are there other clown personality's in the Ouchy psyche?

OUCHY: Theres just one other one which is known as "SAD CLOWN." If I go out as Ouchy, I'm recognized, and people want things , they want you to be on, they want you to perform, but sometimes you want to go out and you don't' want to be noticed, don't' want to have to be on, you just want to be out in your clown......

MD: ... You just want to be a regular every day Joe Blow clown.

OUCHY: Yeah, that's when I bring out sad clown and nobody recognizes him, and he's just sad, and bald with orange hair and just kind a mopes around a lot.

MD: That's sweet. Now I have some questions about your escort business. Do you have regulars?

OUCHY: I do not have regulars to speak of perse.

MD: Do your clients have to call you SIR?
Master OUCHY?//???What?

OUCHY: Ouchy is usually good. People who are into humiliation and submission and that sort of thing, It's not really my thing. When people talk to me on the phone they're surprised to find out that I'm a nice guy and not a mean son of a bitch. That's not my deal, I'm a sadist. I'm into inflicting pain, Laughs,. Much more than I'm into roleplaying the...

MD: the badass master daddy?

OUCHY: right, cuz that's not what I'm like in real life. I'm controlling to a certain degree, in that I wont' put up with certain things, I'm not going to order you to crawl in and lick my boots.

MD: Damn.

OUCHY: I'll try for YOU, monkey. (clown honk.)

MD: Most escorts I know get a celeb or two in the course of their work.
Have you ?

OUCHY: You know what I've had? I've talked to one who was interesting, I talked to .... I have to remember her name from the GO-GO's....

MD: Oh my God! Was it the lead, Belinda Carlysle?

OUCHY: No it was not Belinda it was the bass player....um........

MD: Jane...?

OUCHY: Weidlin! Yeah. She was a fan, and I talked to her for a while on the phone earlier this year, She was like, " we first found your website / we were on tour, and we looked at it every night" (We are both busting up now.) which was pretty funny. She was interviewing me for an online mag called "Puppet Terror"

MD: Aaaah, So she called to interview you?

OUCHY: Yeah, We had a long chat though. (somewhat enigmatically.)

MD: Who would be your ultimate celebrity clown fuck?
Male and female.

OUCHY: Hmmmm. Hard to say. I tend to go for straight boys unfortunately when I'm going for guys....your gonna laugh at me cuz I like pretty boys, not exclusively , that's not entirely true,,,,cuz I like a big scarey daddy too, not usually as Ouchy...I always thought Matt Damon was really cute. I know it's sad. Women? I tend to like women who are odd looking...so, uh...Laura Dern!.
(clown honk)

MD: Who in the media needs and deserves a session with OUCHY?

OUCHY: Well I always say Jesse Helms needs it , but he's so old now, I'm definitely thinking some of our current cabinet staff needs a good ass kicking and whipping, letssee..um old,,,,um... I can see his old sour puss face,,,,,he sang the song.....Donald Rumsfeld.

MD: Whats the status of the OUCHY porn movie?

OUCHY: I think we're ready to go, we got some video from Redboard video, I just have to get back with them and say yes lets do it.

MD: Well, we're all waiting.

OUCHY: I Have a couple out but they're such poor quality I stopped selling them.

MD: Can you get them?

OUCHY: They really are bad.

MD: What are they callled?

OUCHY: The first one is called, "The Ouchy the Clown Show, Shave and a Haircut Two Bits," and there's "Foot Long Porn", and the other two are just me beating people.

MD: We'll leave those for the collectors.
Your'e bi-sexual...
In a clown scene how does that differentiate itself...I mean are there different pranks for guys than there are for girls outside of the obvious compatiblities.

OUCHY: I don't' tend to throw pies into womens crotches as much because of the risk of yeast infection.

MD: Very good of you.

OUCHY: Isn't that nice of me? Other than that theres various things that trascend the gender barriers/ beating someone with a rubber chicken , you can do that to anyone.

MD: Does your wife ever assist in your scenes?

OUCHY: Not perse, sometimes she comes with me to help carry equipment or watch my back. Like I did a show in Houston once and I needed someone to just watch my bag of toys while my back was turned, I lost some stuff once when I didn't' have anybody watching, so she'll come along to watch and sort of watch my back, every once in a while she'll sneak in and do a little something to the blind folded bottom that doesn't' know the difference.

MD: Do you have primarily an SM sex life in the context of your marriage?

OUCHY: Not at all. She's not into it at all......

MD: You must have a lot in common interersonally then......

OUCHY: She likes to watch it...but not a participant.

MD: Now we're in into the section I call PERV questions.

OUCHY: clown honk

MD: Maybe I have a particular interest in some of these.
Have you ever forced anyone to go out in public with you ? Like side show Mel, or Sideshow bottom?

OUCHY: I have indeed forced people to go out in public with me.

MD: Have you painted them up? (getting excited now.)

OUCHY: What I like to do is start them off in what we like to call "plain face" and we'll slowly add pieces to their face over time.

MD: Interesting...
Have you ever gotten to the point in a scene where something clicks and you feel really violent? This is a syndrome of I've ahem, "heard of" from SM tops.
What did you do about it?

OUCHY: I've never gotten to that point. I don't' have that drive. It comes out in me when I'm hurting someone and that's good for me. I don't' have any desire to actually become more violent.

MD: So you have felt that moment?

OUCHY: Well I am getting my yaya's out., my violent yayas/

MD: But when you indulge that sadism theres always that little spot in your head, that, well Personally I find a little uncomfortable and I always pull back from.

OUCHY: I don't' pull back from it. The most intense play I've ever had with anyone was on one of the vids I mentioned with a guy called Dragon Boy, That boy can take anything. He could take anything I dished out. There was a point where he started to bleed from my single tail and I thought, Okay, I've done enough damage here. I don't' that I want to go there. I don't' want to turn you into a piece of hamburger. That's no fun.

MD: Do you/have you ever bottomed?
MD:Do you have a squirting flower? And whats in it?

OUCHY: I do not have a squirting flower!

MD: What would the utlimate OUCHY playroom look like?

OUCHY: Definately all my toys that I built myself. I built my own clown cross, it's a saint andrews cross white washed and painted with red blue yellow and orange polka dots.

MD: Oh wow what else?

OUCHY: Theres another couple little restraining devices and ball clampers, that's my color theme, sort of a whitewashed semi transluscent white background with wonder colored bread polka dots.

MD: Do you have a decent sized play space at your house.

OUCHY: I do / my house is pretty big but theres no place dedicated to it.

MD: Oh yeah, SF is pretty tight for space....

OUCHY: I actually don't' live in SF, I live in the bay area, I live in Oakland, I'll say it. Or as we know it here Oakbootyville.

MD: Whats your ultimate OUCHY scene?

OUCHY: It's hard to say because I enjoy so many different things. One of the things I've been talking about for over a year we're doing next weekend, which is renting a limo with 15 clowns and going to NAPA to go wine tasting. When I get together with the PCP, we often like to culture jam, put ourselves into weird places that people don't' expect to see you.
We freak the freaks a lot. So we're like lets start freaking the straights some more/ so wer're talking about doing the direct market associations or showing up at business confrences and getting fake badges.

MD: I think you should come and freak the gays. Love to see you at a tweeked out circuit party.

OUCHY: I can't stand those boys though.

MD: Tell me about it.
Have you ever had sex with a Plushie? Seems like it would be a good match with your shaving interests.

OUCHY: I'd go through some serious razor blades there!

MD: Anything else you want to tell our readers?

OUCHY: Everybody loves a clown, you should too!